Paul Ille [dot] com

It’s always flattering to me when someone finds one of the game levels I’ve created worthy enough for conversion to either another game or a game type.

Creamator says:Recently took to playing with yet another map from the Crash Squad map source files, not that I dont have new maps on the go, it just that Mr.Damage recently sparked an urge to have a play after reading a post a month ago or so at kp4ever about the source files. I remember the first time playing this particular map when Crash Squad was first released .. set`n that bomb or in my case getting blown up by the bomb..Choice! Here`s a Deathmatch version I have put together from it…

You can grab the map from here

Here’s to wishing everyone has a great Christmas Great food, family and (yay!) presents! hehe For those of you who didn’t get their letters back from Santa, I’d say you’re screwed hehe Expect coal unless you leave some kick arse cookie action near the fireplace

Merry Christmas everyone!

Is there enough honey for my tea?
Poured hot water spots top my hand
Light delightful pin pricks so gentle
As I look over at the almost empty honey bottle

Just a bit left I think for my tea
Just nearly enough for my tea and me
And as my cup filled with hot water’s done
To that almost empty plastic honey bottle I run

Shaped like a bear I squeeze
Running down the inside so slowly
Patient for the taste I can not lie
My tea is most patient as am I

And as it flows to top upside down
I squeeze in short bursts saving the bear nearly drowned
Bottle held several inches high
As beads of sweetness fall through the sky

And after all of this I feel pleased
All worry from just moments ago have eased
There was enough honey for my tea
Enough honey for my tea and me

Trust as you know it
As you speak it
And you say you’ve lost it
Lost whatever hope you had to accept someone
And you want to tell me all about it

And I suppose I have your trust?
Do you have mine?
Sometimes I can’t remember what it is
Like most people
We all have the hurts and pains of trust

But is trust spoiled?
Should another hold blame for our lack of it?
I could never believe that
We lose trust because of ourselves
Because we make mountains
Because we are closed
Because of our never ending focus on the negative
And the people who hurt us

Trust as you know it
As you speak it
Is so fragile a thing
But for every person who breaks your trust
There is another willing to hold it up if you let them

I wrote an instrumental last week and a good friend suggested I post it here. I impressed myself with the quality of the recording being that I used a $2 computer mic and CoolEdit magic. The song consists of several guitar tracks and a couple vocal tracks and it’s called “She’s Inside Me”. I hope you enjoy it!

Click to play

Been having some problems fixing a couple issues I have, like stopping these random posts coming from the archive, so I switched to another task which was adding category graphics for the posts. I have to say it adds a bit to the site and I like em’. Lucky for Microsoft’s Clipart gallery since I can’t draw worth a turd! hehe

I’ve also changed the single.php so that when you click on the title of a post it’s now a bit nicer looking. I seem to be on a roll this morning so who knows? I might get more done!

I need to go eat breakfast and let the dog out first though

Come home to her
My mind goes wild
I tumble in
I catch the floor
She picks me up
We dust me off
Let’s never forget
To smile this way
To be this way
Together

I still have lots of work to do on the site, but it’s getting there. I apologize for it being a work in progress. I’m unsure what might not be working, but let me know if they you find something. I’m not Mr. Php so I’m doing all this with a shoestring knowledge.

I’ve been corresponding via email with the teacher I refer to in the writing section. I had contacted her just around the time I brought up this site. We’re going to catch some coffee and catch up. I have a feeling it will be really great. Most likely that will be next week or so.

Otherwise, just working, trying to get my puppy to crap outside in the snow and just trying to figure things out. It’s hard not to expect good things at this point. I’m feeling very positive for the future. It just seems to be going so slow in getting here. Patience.

Patience

We are without
With plans of wet sand
Twists of lemon in eyes too afraid to open to the sting
And it all waits

Rings of time and fate spin round’ life’s sidewalk stores
Leaving us to the meadows of thought
Without questions or answers
Or knowing what to ask

I stare at you and fumble for words
Words I shouldn’t say, speechless anyway
I picture so sad a face with eyes drawn closed
With mouth drawn tight

Is it really how things are that keep you so far?
Or is it me? Or fear? Or other’s near?
Can anything be the way my mind believes
Or is foolish me being foolish as I will, as I can be

If we are no more tomorrow
If we are still without, with these plans of wet sand
If this feel of spin and earth and gravity do not pass
And it all waits? Should we then wait too?

And what if waiting brings more or less
Do choices possible make choices made?
Would a choice be made if we knew it existed?
Or does a decision become myth after time passes a question old?

For anything that can be done, won’t
And things left resting remain resting
And these rings of time and fate spin round’ life’s sidewalk stores
Waiting to advertise to us, for us to buy into it

Silly as always
We are without
And these plans of wet sand
Make it so much harder to shout

And does our frustration compare
Or our will or drive or empty palms pressed into the sky
Sigh, but only riddled in red fingers
They leave soft otherwise

Does anything sit well anymore?
Do thoughts of future or past or right now matter so much
That they couldn’t be taken away with a breeze?
Or a brush of a slide

And to me nothing could be so big
Nothing takes me higher in such a way I see the bottoms of my feet
And outward motions of my arms
Touch not a wall or an end

I too wait for Eden
I too wait for a new beginning where I topple head over heel
Fist over palm, level for level
Outright and splendid and silent in the glow of it all

But for right now we are without
With plans of wet sand
And these rings of time and fate spinning round’ life’s sidewalk stores
Begging for us to come in, to buy just one thing

The studio was a lot of fun yesterday and I’m sure I’ll be going back sometime soon. The studio was really nice and the guy, Dean (or Mozart as he’s nicknamed) was really kewl. It was interesting since he’s Macedonian. One of my bestest friends is as well so in knowing him I know a good deal of the language and culture.

Anywhos, I recorded a couple covers and a couple originals. Consider the recordings more of a proof of concept. Nothing is perfect and it was just me and an acoustic. Some of the songs really need drums and bass to add that kick to them, but at the moment I’m not playing with anyone. If you’re a studio musician in North New Jersey let me know!

Without further delay, click on “My New Stuff” when you launch the Music Player